If someone says they don't want a relationship (in general), then there's really no use trying to be the cutest, most lovable puppy dog. Sure they might be seduced in the moment. They may even take you home, adopt you and keep you around for awhile. But when you grow up and become a full adult and the novelty wears off, they'll remember they didn't want a dog and get mad at you for being one.
Yes, yes, I know comparing ourselves to dogs might be met with some quizzical grimaces. If the analogy did not work so well or if I thought no one would benefit, I would just keep my mouth shut about it. But it works.
See, even my friend agrees that she might be seduced by a cute puppy on the street. Once she got home and had a bit of time to think about it would remember, she doesn't want a dog.
The distancing we feel from partners can partially be explained by their coming to their senses. They were excited at the puppy convention, but when they got home, they realized "wait, I don't actually want a dog running around my house."
So really no use exhausting oneself to inspire puppy love in one who confesses, "I'm not ready for a dog. I may never be"
Advertisers know that this is an uphill battle. If you want to sell someone a dog, find someone who had a dog but it died or ran away.
Never try to convert....
Sarah Federman, PhD
Enjoy these short blogs and videos designed to bring you a little cheer.
My other blog Language of Conflict addresses the importance of word choice and narration in conflict.
Finish and Flourish supports writers struggling to complete projects.